HAPPY ACCIDENTS
12 Offbeat Essays Exploring the Irony in the Ordinary

by David Boyne

"These essays brim with profound insight. They are tales of ordinary life, extraordinarily observed. And they're funny. So funny you hardly know he's making you think 'til you catch yourself doing it." --Patty Kadel, Cartoonist

"These stories take you on a sardonic ride as curvy as it is bodacious. Sardonic, curvy, bodacious. Yeah, that's what I said." --Julie Ann Weinstein, author of Flashes From the Other World

"These beautifully crafted, poignant, and humorous essays by David Boyne capture the magic in daily life, if we stop and pay attention. He reminds us that happiness, indeed, is not an accident." -- Paula Margulies, author of Coyote Heart

"These essays are poignant, funny and intellectually charged." — Traci Foust, author of Nowhere Near Normal, A Memoir of OCD

Buy the Happy Accidents Kindle book

X MARKS THE SPOT: We're All Going to Die! So… What's for Lunch?

by David Boyne

13 More Offbeat Essays Boldly Exploring the Irony of the Ordinary

Hilarious, deceptively meaningful essays of ordinary, everyday events, in which the author sets out to prove his startling, radical, highly controversial assertion that we are all going to die.

In these fast and furiously funny essays we ride shotgun as David Boyne arrives in a new city and is given a map by a mysterious stranger (X MARKS THE SPOT), or reads his email (GRUDGE HOLDING LETTER BOMBING SHIT LISTERS), or strains to curb his inherited gene of East Coast sarcasm as he mixes it up with goofy new-age Californians (IT’S ALL GOOD, ADVENTURES IN THE LAND OF THE LOTUS EATERS). We breeze down a wacky detour back to high school (WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!) but then take a wrong turn and find ourselves lost in the woods (JUST PASSING THROUGH) and wind up parsing the meaning of a Japanese obituary (EITHER AND OR).

And after this wild, bumpy, exhilarating, ironic odyssey through the ordinary, we will look up and find -- that we are right back where we started. The world around us is exactly the same as when we left it.

But we’re not.

Buy the X Marks the Spot Kindle book

TRAVELS IN MY 3 POUND UNIVERSE : 12 Essays Proving That All Roads Lead to Where We're Going

by David Boyne

From a Review by Ann Bancroft

These brilliant stories, or essays if you insist on calling them that, go off on tangents. They will grab you and insist that you come along for explorations of everything from the terrors of kindergarten (The First Circle of Hell) to the bitter-sweetness of parenting (For My Collection) to the shocking discovery of the purpose of Life (Quo Vadis, Dude?).

And if that were not enough, David Boyne also presents practical advice on mastering the essential art of recalling one's dreams (Row, Row, Row Your Boat) dealing with shark attacks (Who's In Charge Here?) and deciding what to retrieve, or to leave behind, in one’s Past (Sailing Alone Around the World).

The stories in this way off-the-beaten-path travelogue take you through a beautiful, spongy, delightful mass of gray matter. They are wry, tender, and carry just a hint of the acerbic. They intoxicate.

Now that I think of it, this book should come with a Warning Label:

Reading these stories may cause outbursts of laughter and inappropriate questioning. Being under their influence may impair your ability to take things seriously and to realize that objects in mirrors are way closer than they appear.

It happened to me. It could happen to you.

Buy the Travels In My Three Pound Universe Kindle book

VELOCITY: Odd Stories of People in Motion (fiction)
by David Boyne

The lively and decidely offbeat stories in this collection of fiction include darkly hilarious lampoons, such as NEWTON’S COMEUPPANCE, the author’s entry into the venerable shaggy dog genre, in which, thanks to a 90-pound beach combing golden retriever who discovers secret anti-gravity technology—the entire world is transformed—for better AND for worse. Or THE CONFESSION BOOTH, in which a lean and hungry and horny young lawyer discovers sexual release—and insightful career counseling—behind the Green Door inside the Pink Pussycat Theatre.

Other stories are quietly unsettling, with common elements, that may or may not be connected, with a flow of events that leave us at the end, like the characters, with new unanswered questions. There is the history professor who takes a book from the body of a dead homeless man in THE IMMIGRANT, and the 11-year-old boy at the center of IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, who steals a book from the library.

Other stories, such as THE SURVIVOR and OUT IN THE COLD, show a middle-aged woman and a teen-age boy responding to the overwhelming power of accident, and of anger.

Then there are stories of small-scale ridiculousness, with the “roommate from Hell” story, THE DAWN OF JOY. And large-scale ridiculousness, such as BUMS: A NEW YORK CHRISTMAS STORY that, believe it or not, takes place in August, inside the Third Street Mens Shelter, opening with a food fight that escalates into a city-wide riot.

Buy the Velocity Stories Kindle book

BackTalk db |David Boyne's Blog: I Could Be Wrong, But... | David Boyne's paperback book, I Could Be Wrong, But... | Complaint Department | Like Wow Totally FREE Essays! | Velocity Stories | Happy Accidents | X Marks the Spot | Travels in My 3 Pound Universe | Resistance Is Futile! | You Must Be Present to Win | Share | Follow @DavidBoyne

I COULD BE WRONG BUT... This new trade paperback book features many of the essays from 4 popular Kindle ebooks by David Boyne. Available now on Amazon Happy Accidents Inside My 3-Pound Universe Resistance Is Futile! X Marks the Spot "Beautifully crafted, poignant, and humorous. Essays by David Boyne capture the magic in daily life, if we stop and pay attention. He reminds us that happiness, indeed, is not an accident." -- Paula Margulies, Coyote Heart "Like Dave Barry and David Sedaris, David Boyne analyzes life's minor truths and comes up with the uncomfortable questions that may not topple governments, but do make life richer." --Ken Callaway, Screenwriter "These stories take you on a sardonic ride as curvy as it is bodacious. Sardonic, curvy, bodacious. Yeah, that's what I said." --Julie Ann Weinstein, Flashes From the Other World "These essays brim with profound insight. They are tales of ordinary life, extraordinarily observed. And they're funny. So funny you hardly know he's making you think 'til you catch yourself doing it." --Patty Kadel, Cartoonist (PattyKadel.com)

"These essays are poignant, funny and intellectually charged." -- Traci Foust, Nowhere Near Normal

Was $13,375.95— Now just $3.95 on Amazon! (While supplies of electrons last)	Was $23,975.95— Now just $3.95 on Amazon! (While supplies of electrons last)	Was $17,615.95— Now just $3.95 on Amazon! (While supplies of electrons last)
Was $39,975.99— Now just $3.95 on Amazon! (While supplies of electrons last)	David Boyne has failed at everything he has tried. He once considered becoming a better person. But when told identity theft was illegal, he abandoned the idea. When not boldly staring into Space, being distracted, or scheming for Total World Domination, he exposes himself in public at DavidBoyne.com and ICouldBeWrongBut.com	Was $3,982.99— Now just $3.95 on Amazon! (While supplies of electrons last)

Buy a Kindle Now! (Or just check them out.)

Click this link to BackTalk db!

>>Back to Top<<